From His Son David (1973)

From his son David’s own words in a paper he wrote in college, may I quote: “Dad, My Most Unforgettable Character.” “Throughout his life, Dad has always been an optimist. He has known failure as well as success. No matter what the situation has been, he has always maintained a positive attitude. One time, deeply in debt and near financial ruin he went to his knees for inspiration. He had an idea, too complicated to go into great detail at this time, was basically this: to build a store that had everything (grocery, department store, bakery, shoe store, jewelry store, etc.) under one roof and one management.” Business difficulties and indebtedness during these times brought problems that I’m sure the average person couldn’t have withstood, and it was from these periods of greatest difficulties that his greatest business success was born. Deeply in debt, but with this idea, he came to Las Vegas and with the financial backing of several other fine men who recognized its merits, Vegas Village was born. His leadership in the Retail Grocery marketing was certainly recognized throughout the U.S. and reached its height when he was a member of a select committee of the National Retail Grocers Association of America.

Eulogy

Prelude Music Eileen Kowallis
Hymn I Know That My Redeemer Lives, 7th Ward Choir
Wila Hollingsworth Conducting
Marion Folkman Accompanist

Funeral Services for Ralph J. Harman
January 5, 1973
Held in the 7th Ward Chapel, Las Vegas North Stake

Invocation Gene Leavitt
Our Father in Heaven, we the family and friends of Bishop Ralph Harman are met this day to give thanks unto Thee for the many blessings we have; for this beautiful day to pay our last respects, and for the safe arrival for all who were compelled to travel to these special services.
We are thankful for the privilege we have had of living on the earth to partake of the spirit and the teachings of Bishop Harman, and be able to call him friend and share in the many things he has done. We ask a special blessing on Sister Arda. We are so thankful for her and for the assignments she has filled. In these last few years when she has exhibited so much faith and courage and love for her wonderful husband. She is the kind who will have the courage to carry on and also bless David and Gayle and all that they will need her for. Bless at this time all who will sing, or who will talk, that the words they say will be in accordance with Thy holy mind and will. We dedicate this service unto thee in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

Obituary Bishop Bruce G. Cameron
I would like to extend a welcome to you this day. May I thank the family for giving me this choice blessing to represent them and say a few words today.
As much as Ralph loved people, I’m sure that he is pleased that you all have come today, and I’m sure that he is pleased with the spirit of hope and love that exists among family and friends that he has left behind. I’ve noticed a special feeling here.
All of us have personal thoughts and memories of Ralph, his character, his manner and his unique ways. We all share a common bond in him today. May I reflect upon a few of the things that are meaningful to me, and hope that they remind you of your association with him also. May I also tell you a few things about his life, that you may benefit by seeing what made him the kind of person he was and still is.
Ralph Julius Harman began life January 24, 1906 in Granger, Utah. He was the fourth child of nine in the family of David and Grace Harman. He passed from this life January 2, 1973 after a long and difficult illness. He is survived by his wife Arda, two children David Ralph and wife Karen, presently attending B.Y.U. and Gayle Harman Peterson, who with her husband David are attending medical school in Reno, Nevada. Ralph is survived by seven brothers and sisters; David Vern Harman, Velma Hogan, Amy Palmer, Eliza Barrus, George R. (Jake) Harman, Jack Harman, Leon W. (Pete) Harman.
The parents of this large family must have been very special people to have instilled in their children a desire to be successful, to accomplish great things and to have such a great love for work.
Ralph’s mother died with the combination of flu and childbirth when he was at the tender age of 13. By the time he was 17 he had left home to find work. The first few nights away from home, he stayed in the “hall” of a hotel and went to a home where his sister Velma was working, to get his meals. Then at last … he landed his first job. And what a job it was, wheeling lead dust out of a smelter at the rate of 4 cents a wheelbarrow load. Wouldn’t you have enjoyed that job? He moved on to other jobs for a long time, many of them seasonal, such as beet separating, harvesting, hauling potatoes, and he went to school part time at the Granite High School. After some time, and may I quote his own words, “I caught a Greyhound Bus to San Francisco to seek my fortune.” The first thing he did upon arriving there was to find the “Mormon Missionaries” to help him find the church and a place to stay. In his personal history he mentions his church activity there and how much it meant to him. He looked for two weeks for work until he was, quoting him, “really broke.” Then on a Saturday morning he got three job offers. He took the one that paid the best, filling paint cans for Fuller Paints.
He held some ten to fifteen jobs in various parts of the country, from sales manager to filling jelly donuts … but never quite satisfied; for he was not the kind to settle for less than he knew he could do. Thru much trial and error, and a double dose of persistence, Ralph became involved in a small grocery business, starting at first by selling out of a truck around different parts of Utah, Nevada and Arizona. It was during this time that he met his beloved Arda. He would arrive in Panguitch, Utah Tuesday evening and stay over for the dance.
Let me tell you his own words regarding her: “I went to a dance one Tuesday evening. I didn’t know anyone but Philo Cameron. I was talking to him and he asked if I wanted to meet some of the girls. I told him no, because I had picked out the most beautiful girl in the world and was going to ask her to dance with me. I walked across the hall and asked his daughter to dance. I also asked her to go home with me but she had the good sense to turn me down. My brother Jake was with me that night and I told him as we drove out of Panguitch that I intended to marry that girl. Arda refused to go with me for some time, but she finally agreed to let me escort her home from a dance. We went together every time I was in Panguitch until the following spring, when I asked her to go to Salt Lake to meet my family. While up there we decided to get married instead of waiting.” In his own words he felt this way about Arda: “We lived happily ever after except when I caused my darling heartaches.”
Later on, he and two other partners opened a store in Flagstaff, Arizona. Through much sweat, prayer, time and constant perseverance, it became a tremendous success. From this store came others in Kingman, Davis Dam and Bullhead, Arizona.
From his son David’s own words in a paper he wrote in college, may I quote: “Dad, My Most Unforgettable Character.” “Throughout his life, Dad has always been an optimist. He has known failure as well as success. No matter what the situation has been, he has always maintained a positive attitude. One time, deeply in debt and near financial ruin he went to his knees for inspiration. He had an idea, too complicated to go into great detail at this time, was basically this: to build a store that had everything (grocery, department store, bakery, shoe store, jewelry store, etc.) under one roof and one management.”
Business difficulties and indebtedness during these times brought problems that I’m sure the average person couldn’t have withstood, and it was from these periods of greatest difficulties that his greatest business success was born. Deeply in debt, but with this idea, he came to Las Vegas and with the financial backing of several other fine men who recognized its merits, Vegas Village was born. His leadership in the Retail Grocery marketing was certainly recognized throughout the U.S. and reached its height when he was a member of a select committee of the National Retail Grocers Association of America.
Brothers and Sisters, I’m sure that these business achievements are well known to most of you, but of greater significance was his success and leadership in his family and his church. He firmly believed the words of President David O. McKay that “No success can compensate for failure in the home.” His love for his wife and children was obvious in his constant efforts to surround his family with good activities, good friends, inspiring ideas and lofty goals. He continually taught his children the principles that would bring them success and true happiness in this life and eternal life, and I’m sure that today he is satisfied with their happiness.
Ralph’s achievements in the affairs of God’s Kingdom are no less impressive. He served as a counselor to the Bishop in Flagstaff. He served as the Bishop of the Kingman Ward for seven years, and was instrumental in building their chapel. He served on the Stake Aaronic Priesthood Committee. He served on the Boulder Dam Area Council of the Boy Scouts and as Bishop of the 7th Ward from 1962 to 1966, and on the High Council of the North Las Vegas Stake up to the time of his illness. He also served as Stake Chairman of the BYU Parents Committee.
His thoughts and efforts during a great part of his life were with the young people. He constantly encouraged and inspired youth to greater heights. He wanted them to love the gospel and he stressed education for he knew that this would help them meet a greater degree of success in their lives. There aren’t many folks around that don’t immediately think of “Harman Specials” at the mention of his name. That, my friends, was his all wise “spoonful of sugar” to help you want to obey the commandments … something that is a little difficult to do all alone … so he would help you by giving you a great ice cream treat, or as the scriptures so aptly put it, using persuasion to influence the youth and others to choose the right way.
In closing may I say that to this great man, who was not only my uncle, but my Bishop at a very critical time in my life, I owe a great deal. His constant encouragement and enthusiasm, his zest for life, his genuine concern for others, certainly inspired me as a youth. I realized early in my life that the ideas that inspired his life could certainly do the same in mine. As I remember them, some of his favorites were:

Seek ye first the kingdom of God and all else shall be added…

Choose ye this day whom ye will serve, but as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.

I, the Lord am bound when ye do what I say.

You can achieve anything you want if you are willing to pay the price.

You have to give to get.

Remarks Bishop Fenton L. Tobler
I am honored to speak at Brother Harman’s funeral. I served Bishop Harman as a first counselor, and was also on the High Council with him. I found a very strong-willed man. He had a tender capacity for the young and old alike, a love of the beautiful, and when he found something that touched his heart he wanted to share it with everyone. Many of you here have received books from Bishop Harman. When he found eternal truths in books, he bought cases of them and passed them around to others. He had a deep concern for his wife and children. Many times in the quiet confines of the Bishop’s office, he would confide in us his great concern for his wife Arda and son David and daughter Gayle. The children were dating and he was concerned, and I am sure he is thrilled beyond measure to see them choose such wonderful companions for time and all eternity. And I say to David and Gayle, the greatest gift you could give your father is clean and pure lives and service to your Father in Heaven on this earth.
His life has been one of service to his family, friends and relatives. He wanted to accumulate wealth so he could give freely to those in need. He was always thinking of those around him, thinking of those in need. He got a great deal of satisfaction in seeing others happy, whether they were going on a trip to the Oakland Temple, or in telling of the successes of his own brothers and sisters and family. It was a practice all his life helping freely his fellowmen and all whom he came in contact with. I am sure that many here today can say that Brother Harman helped them become active and live on a spiritual plane.
Many will remember one of his favorite sayings, “You must always remember that you can never get the Lord in debt to you.” He taught this true principle to the people of this ward. And as a suggestion, I am repeating the principle. No matter how much you give, you are always in debt to Him. I will never forget that statement.
He trusted in his Heavenly Father. Many times he mentioned that he had some trying financial problem in life, and faced a decision to pay the Lord or other obligations, and he always paid the Lord first and as a result he was blessed.
He was a great man who had been on both ends of the financial ladder. He was one who followed the Lord Jesus Christ. He always thought of those things that were on the good side.
It was said of the Savior, “He went about doing good.” What better eulogy to say about Brother Ralph, “He went about doing good.”
We must look forward and realize in our hearts that he would say, “Be of good cheer, I have overcome the world.” This is a reality. Ralph has gone home. He is rejoicing with his loved ones who preceded him in death.
Just recently we had a missionary return to our family. And I am sure Ralph’s joy is much the same as he steps in the presence of his mother and father, and they will have the same feeling when Sister Arda meets him on the other side. May God’s choice blessings be with all the family of Ralph Harman, I pray in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

Musical Number I Need Thee Every Hour, Sister Marsha Beatty
Accompanied by Charlotte Olsen

Speaker Bishop Foy Seegmiller
Sister Harman, David, Gayle, family and friends, it is certainly an honor to be asked to participate here today. I know that in the past few days and in the past year, each of us has remembered and given thought to our dear departed brother, Bishop Harman.
My first acquaintance with him was in the early 50’s. He moved into his new home right behind us. I have admired him. I have enjoyed him throughout the years I have known him. I served on the High Council, in fact was seated next to him for a number of years. I served as a counselor here in this ward. I had the experience of going back to Minnesota on a business venture. I learned much from him. I am grateful for that opportunity and even becoming closer for that experience. Even though it didn’t work out as planned, it was a learning experience. In the past year or so I have worked very closely with Sister Harman in her capacity as Relief Society President in the Stake. It is great to see a woman with such faith and courage and strength as she has.
I too have remembered many expressions of Bishop Harman. One he said, “You will have to go down to the valleys and marshes to get to the top of the mountain.” He has had hardships and trials, but he has stayed with it. He never gave up. He got to the top through his work and perseverance.
“Blessed is he who keeps my commandments, either in life or in death, and he that is faithful in tribulation, the same is greater in the kingdom of Heaven.” And he endured to the end. He suffered much in the past few years. I don’t know how many of us could have stood it and remained faithful to the end.
“By their fruits ye shall know them.” Many people have become active in the gospel of Jesus Christ because of the influence of this man. As a bishop, entitled to marry people for time on this earth, these people in many cases would want to pay the bishop, but Brother Ralph would not take pay. He told them that the only way they could pay him was that if they had been inactive, to follow the teachings of the church, attend church, pray, keep the word of wisdom and pay tithing.
If they didn’t belong, he asked them to take the missionary lessons. Many of them became active in the church and built up a strong testimony because he was willing to challenge them. He also did the same thing when invited into the homes of sick people. He was a man who wanted to help others. Also taught, “You can’t put the Lord in debt to you. The more you give, the more you are blessed.” He was willing to give of himself and his means to others. I was closely associated with him and I know some of the things that he has done, in helping others and giving of his means. Bishop Harman was a builder of the spirits of men. He has influenced the lives of many men and I think many of you in this ward will bear me out on this.
He had a love for the youth. He loved to have Firesides at his home. I don’t believe that house was vacant at all, with both youth and adults. He loved to have people around. He shared everything he had with everyone else. Even his swimming pool. For awhile the pool was empty. His family took care of that and got it ready again. And he was so excited saying, “The youth are back.” He gave to others and he gave to the Lord. He was willing to borrow if necessary to pay his debt if he had to sacrifice.
He has molded many lives in many ways. His love for his family and friends in always wanting to share the blessings of the gospel with others, was outstanding. I know of no other man, except my own father, who made such an influence in my life.
“By their fruits ye shall know them.” Look at his children. There is a great joy in having children who live the gospel and who choose choice mates. And to have a companion who is best above all. Sister Harman is one of the greatest women I have known in my life. As I have worked with her and have seen her faith, never wavering, even though her husband was so sill, took care of him so grandly, yet never left her responsibilities in the gospel.
A place is prepared for every man where he shall be appointed according to his works. For this reason we are taught that there is a glory of the sun, a glory of the moon, and a glory of the stars. So it is in the resurrection of the dead. Talking about the resurrection in the 76th section of the Doctrine and Covenants, we are told about the three degrees of glory, the glory of the sun, the glory of the moon and the glory of the stars. Every Latter-day Saint has a desire to live in the Celestial kingdom because that is where God dwells. That is where we want to be and that is what we strive for in this life in doing good and helping others. This is why Brother Harman has lived his life in helping others. I am thankful for my association with him because it is the best thing that has happened in my life. My memory of him will be throughout eternity. I will never forget him.
I would like to read a poem by Ella Wheeler Wilcox, “The Beyond.”

It seemeth such a little way to me
Across to that country, the beyond;
And yet, not strange, for it has grown to be
The home of these of whom I am so fond.
And so for me there is no death;
It is but a crossing, with baited breath, a little strip of sea,
To find ones’ loved ones waiting on the shore
More beautiful, more precious than before.

I believe that Bishop Harman would be interested in seeing everyone become a member of the Church of Jesus Christ. He asked this question of non-members and his business associates alike: “If you knew that the Savior had been here on the earth and had established His church as He promised he would, would you be interested? What do you know about the Mormon Church, and would you like to know more?”
May his example always be with us and help us remember to live our lives so we will be close to him, because there is another life. This is just a fleeting moment, and I bear testimony of these things in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

Musical Number Oh My Father, Frank Randal soloist
Stake Relief Society Chorus
Ruth Bunker accompanying
Delores Owen conducting

Speaker President James K. Seastrand
I believe this is the easiest talk to give that I have ever been asked to do in my life. I have learned to love and live with Ralph in his church service. The spirit of this radiant song vibrates from my heart strings to those who love him. The life of Bishop Harman has been a sermon. He lived the life of a Christian man, wanting to return to his Heavenly Father.
When Sister Harman called me, telling me that Ralph had passed away, I noted the time about 10:30 in the evening and I was sitting in my office interviewing two young people for marriage for time and all eternity. I felt that if he could, he would have come to pay a visit, and what better way than as I talked to two young people who were planning to go to the great temple of God, and it gave me a ward feeling. I felt that he had come by and told me goodbye as he went on with his mother and father.
“There is no greater love that this; that a man lay down his life for his friends.” Ralph taught this, he believed it, and gave of his time, always wanting to help, and always following a Christ-like life.
Jesus said, “Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart soul and mind.” You and I know this was Ralph’s desire. “The second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself.” Ralph was an example of this Christ-like life. Ralph wasn’t a great outdoorsman, and he really didn’t have a green thumb. He did love young people. He took his son and the Explorers on many outings. In Minneapolis he and a group of Boy Scouts went on a canoe trip and Ralph met them at different places along the river with sandwiches, pop, cookies, ice cream and fruit. Also he was anxious to see how they were getting along and who was in the lead as it was a racing contest. He took a truck load of watermelons to the mountains for the girls when they were at camp. Ralph enjoyed seeing his young son grow up to a young man, going on a mission. He helped his son and his group build a boat and purchased a motor for the boat. He lived to see the day when that investment of his time with his son paid off. He saw his son become Explorer leader as a very young man. And that is what happens to those who live a Christ-like life. I know this family will follow their father and loved one.
Ralph was one of our bishops asked to attend scouting training in Bonanza. They were required to sleep in sleeping bags, to learn to appreciate what the boys go through. He raised his hand.
“Do I really have to go?” Because of his great love for the boys he went. That was the kind of man he was. When it came to the Gospel of Jesus Christ, that was first and always. And I will never forget how the stake honored him with the Master M-Man award.
He shared with me many stories about when he was trucking. One time Sister Arda’s mother and Aunt Ev were in need. That was when things were very rough and tough. Ralph was hauling flour and he remembered them and would drop off a sack of flour.
When he became more prosperous, and had a grocery store of his own he would take the produce at the end of the day and deliver it to the homes of the widows and those in need. At the girls camp in the summer he would take a truck load of melons to camp. He had faith in the gospel. There was never any question in his mind about the story that he was a son of his Heavenly Father.
He believed with all his heart that he had come from heaven as a spirit child, and was given the Priesthood, and had great faith in the Gospel of Jesus Christ. This life of probation gives us the goal to help others. He had this great testimony. He knew Joseph Smith restored the gospel. We stay away from tobacco, drugs and alcohol. He recognized many years ago the problems that would come from this wickedness.
I have treasured in my heart a time when Brother Monson, an apostle, came to our stake. He asked for a list of names of men who were spiritual and led spiritual lives. Brother Harman was one name outstanding. Brother Harman was not chosen. God knew that Ralph was near the end of his life, and he knew that Ralph would be gone. That man would have been a great patriarch. He may have felt that in his heart. He knew that God loved him. He stood on a great pinnacle of strength. He set a great spiritual example that his family and friends may desire to be the kind of man he was.
I also know that the ceremony performed with Ralph and Arda in the temple of God for time and all eternity is true and when the time comes he will reach out and take his sweetheart to him again. His family know these things because they have faith in Ralph and in the Gospel of Jesus Christ.
That would be his testimony, that he knows that God lives. May he bless each of you to have such a strong testimony of Jesus Christ and that these are the most important in our lives, I pray, in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

Closing Hymn Abide With Me
Joe Wendel, Joe Thiriot, Fred Gillies, Wayne Gamett

Benediction Russell F. Woods
Our kind and righteous Eternal Father in Heaven, we come today with thankfulness in our hearts for the fine spirit here, as we pay our respects to Bishop Harman. Father, we are thankful for this man and for the love he showed to the young people, and for the spirit that always dwelt with him, and for the guidance he gave as bishop. We are thankful for this large family. Be with his wife and children that they will be healthy and strong, that they may carry on in good faith and do the work in the gospel. Father in Heaven, we ask that thou wilt go with those who travel, that they might return to their homes in peace and safety. Help us remember Bishop Harman and the kind of man he was. We thank him for the sacrifices he made for Thee. Help each of us in the covenants we make before Thee. We ask these things humbly, in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

PEACE

For every mountain there is a valley
Below the hill a brooklet flows.
After each cloud there is sunbreak
And for every thorn there is a rose.

After the dark there comes a dawning
And heavy snows will melt away
After raindrops comes the sunlight
After night, God sends the day.

After heartbreak comes the stillness,
After tears, comes a smile,
After sorrow there is healing,
And sweet peace comes after a while.

… Mamie Osburn Odum